View Full Version : Only 1 your whole life...
11-07-2011, 01:29 AM
just as the title says,
what are your thoughts about being together for the rest of your life with the first girlfriend or boyfriend (never had any other relationship)
I have heard a few arguments about it...
Good things: Its sweet, its pure love and no problems that recur from past experiences, will have more faith and dare to dive into new experiences.
Bad things: No experience with other type of partners, might not be able to handle new experiences, easier to give in to temptation?
would like to hear is there anyone out there with similar situations?
would really like to hear views from all...
11-07-2011, 02:52 PM
I think people are too picky and choosey these days. Consumerism encourages this, telling people "you can have what you want, instantly" and "if you don't like it at first, get a refund/replacement". It's sad when people judge their partners based on sexual experience and "how good in bed" they are.
I want a woman who is patient, easy going, enjoys the same things as me, doesn't live up to an image to impress people, isn't dysfunctional, doesn't spend all day on Facebook/Twitter/etc, and doesn't have past 'baggage' or anything like that.
Another good thing: You can gain sexual experience with her in the way that suits just you and her, which isn't based on what she did with other men before you.
OK that's my fantasising over with. Life goes on...
11-07-2011, 03:00 PM
Being raised in Quaker minister's household, my parents never had any other sexual relations. They waited until married, and divorce was never considered an option. That is the way Quakers were back then.
As for my parents, it worked out very well. They were happily married over 60 years, until my mother passed away last year.
However, growing up, I knew many Quaker couples who were also married to their one and only relationship, for very long periods of time.
I would say the "happy," relationships were the minority. I knew many Quaker couples who had been married for 50 years, who hadn't had sex in 40 years, and had slept in seperate bedrooms for 30 years.
I think it's awesome if you can pull it off. In my case, though, I couldn't do it. She was crazy, and she still is, and probably always will be. :D
11-08-2011, 08:04 AM
I don't know. It would be so nice that your first girl/boy-friend was the perfect for you and was the love of your life, but it almost never happens that way. I think that the most of people need more relationships (no at the same time, of course) to find the person she/he want to spend the rest of her/his life. I would like to meet a girl and that she was the one I'm looking for...
until my mother passed away last year.
I'm sorry of hear that pal u_u
11-08-2011, 10:09 PM
I talked with my first girlfriend a few years ago. We still love each other, and swore to stay away from each other. We live different lives now.
If it were not for the times, war, and her Father, we would be together still today.
and we both know it.
11-29-2011, 01:02 PM
Well ... it all comes down to how good the first 'pick' was. Some people fit together well and some people notice quite soon they made a mistake. Another thing to consider is that everyone changes. The person you get together with in 2011 is not going to be the same person in 2051 or even earlier. You've to be able to accept your partner's change.
Sexually, as long as your pieces fit, it's stated by many researches that the people who are long term partners who dare to develop and experience new things together find their sex life more satisfactory and are happier than those jumping from genitals to others. Emotionally detached people cannot understand this, but that's a whole other story to tell.
Giving in to temptation, which is a lust issue, not a love issue, is weakness of mind. If one cares about the partner, truly, there's nothing but damage beyond the weak moments. Giving a chance to the weak moments can be eliminated with the couple's actions.
About other 'types' of partners... If your relationship is working well and everybody's happy, why would there be a need to consider trying other partners? Sure, some people might get restless at one point or another and probably most will think what would it have been like with someone else. Actually going 'over the fence' behind your partner's back when you've a good thing going is just stupid. It'll cause pain and regret. Now why did I mention "behind your partner's back"? In some cases, people can handle open relationships. That's why. In reality, though, most people cannot handle open relationship. Not even most of the people who are 'sure' they could handle it before they've ever tried it. Then there's the love triangle etc. but that's not what you're asking.
Generally, people should remember to grow together, not to grow separate. Promote things that increase emotional attachment and avoid situations that promote emotional detachment. Don't let work life or possible children put a wedge between you two. Experience things together and both be open to each others' proposals of 'new adventures and experiences'. Do a lot of things together but don't forget to give each other space if or when needed.
So... Personally, I believe that the relationship with your first one can carry through life if the choice was good and both are open minded, caring etc. as above. There, a couple of thoughts.
12-13-2011, 07:50 AM
Ohhh thanks all for the replies...
Cause just a while back Im thinking what does it feels like to be with another girl LOL....
Am just curious..
Am glad that you all gave an answer to it...
But ultimately i think it is the weakness of the mind to give in to lust...
its too bad if a good 1st time relationship is ruin by lust...:please:
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