Mature Content - Sex Secrets of an American Geisha

[HongKongDr]

American Geisha Secrets to Attract, Satisfy,
and
Keep Your Man During the Holidays

By Agencies and Staff
November 26, 2006

Los Angeles - Did you know that most single women don't know how to continue to attract, satisfy, and keep their men - especially around the holidays when people are busier than ever. But according to Py Kim Conant, the author of the recently released book, 'Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, her "American Geisha" secrets make it easy to do.

Sex Secrets of an American Geisha is based on research with literally hundreds of single and married Asian women and American men pursuing interracial relationships, as well as on her own personal experience finding "and bedding and wedding" her American husband.

While investigating the lives of the Japanese Geisha (and Korean Kisaeng), Py Kim found a deep well of untapped wisdom in the Geisha's centuries-old feminine practices that could be applied to 21st century women wishing to learn how to attract, satisfy, and keep a man happy and in love for a lifetime.

While her advice is frequently politically incorrect, it is always practically correct, not to mention refreshing. Her 'bottom line' message of hope: any woman, single or married, and traditionally beautiful or not, can find success in love, marriage, and happiness aided by the practical yet sexy secrets of the Far East.

Py Kim's work attempt's to provide a timely, fun, entertaining, and controversial show with her as your guest. Here are some possible
relationship topics for 'American Geisha Secrets to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man During the Holidays:'

- Getting married is the best anti-depressant prescription in the New Year

- Sex is the best anti-depressant prescription during the holidays

- American Geisha Secrets to please men with exotic and erotic ways:

What I learned when I was 40 pounds overweight, depressed and unhappy, and why I'm married, optimistic, and thin now. And how you can do it too!

Why American women are losing their men to Asian women: An Asian woman spills the secrets and gives practical advice to help ANY woman catch her man.

Why women love bad guys - and why they need "Good Men"

- American Geisha's exotic ways to please your man
- Sex will lead to the commitment she wants
- Make your Good Man into your hero
- Make your man feel like your sexual and non-sexual Samurai
- Why women should want to have "MORE" sex with their men

Py Kim Conant, Korean born, she studied Eastern philosophy before coming to Los Angeles to continue her studies. Her writing explores relationships through the lens of her own personal story and the stories of others she interviewed along the journey.

She received her B.A. in psychology from UCLA and went on to receive her M.A. in education from California State University. She has also been published as a contributing writer for the Los Angeles Times and as a featured columnist for Korea Daily. Conant lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Richard.

Py Kim Conant finds that she exists in three distinct cultures living in the US: her original Korean culture, the American culture into which she moved, and the stereotyped "Asian" culture that people apply to her when she meets them.

Source Material: http://www.asiansexgazette.com/asg/korea/korea03news04.htm

Hongkongdr says: I find this book to be very interesting for women to read and it shows alot of way for men who are having a difficult time in dating to open themselves to learn what Asian women want.

This is written by a very mature Korean woman so i have posted this here and hope that OldiesLover does not mind.

thank you -

[basnobasno]

where are the tips?!?!

this article is nothing more than just a advertising tease to buy the stupid book

[OldiesLover]

where are the tips?!?!

this article is nothing more than just a advertising tease to buy the stupid book

basnobasno, what's wrong with advertising? :confused: I love advertising. I have 2 college degrees in advertising (oppps... I meant: Marketing. :o ) Ya know what? I'm gonna buy this stupid book! :p

P.S. I once lived right down the street from UCLA.... I may have seen this sexy lil Korean babe! ;)

[HongKongDr]

where are the tips?!?!

this article is nothing more than just a advertising tease to buy the stupid book

Yes, Basnobasno this is article about new book out - you call it "Advertising" - i call it new article talking about new book which is good book - I like it - it will help me to keep someone - so there - maybe you have no one and need to learn - but I have book and you nice nice - then i will post some of the tips from this book to give you a hint of what you can learn -

See OldiesLover is good man - he read - he go buy book - he know what is good -

you learn from OldiesLover.......

OldiesLover...can tell from reading and looking at picture of author that this is good book - he is bright intelligent man - you learn from elders - that is way - make you better person - Yes, author is very sexy Korean mature woman - OldiesLover. can tell this he is very good judge of woman.......

Thank you -

HongKongDr.

[HongKongDr]

********************************************
* The smart, assertive, sexy American Geisha *
* does not compromise at all in these four areas. *
* Py Kim Conant *
********************************************

We really liked Chapter 7 Define Your “Good Man”. Because it’s not what they want it’s WHAT WE WANT. It’s what they have to offer not whether we are good enough.

Start by finding the right type of guy and stop wasting your time on guys who aren’t going to change or more importantly who aren’t even worth you waiting for them to do so. Ultimately, we have the choice, not them… so we believe you should start here with these points of defining what a good man is…..It’s all about you, until you find the one who is worthy enough to keep the relationship passionate and happy. But FIRST you must find that good man…..and sorry ladies, it doesn’t say anything here about accepting cheaters, substance abusers or anyone who doesn’t put you first. There’s nothing better than being in a great relationship with a good man!

Finding the right type of guy: excerpted from Chapter 7 Define Your “Good Man”. With practicality and warmth, Py Kim Conant invites you, the reader to become her “Younger Sister” – a geisha-in-training. Always frank, she shows you how to explore your feminity and sexuality while connecting with your “Good Man”. She shares sex tips and techniques to bond your man to you and explains how, once you’re married, you can continue to use the wisdom of the Geisha to keep your relationship passionate and happy.

The Four Core Characteristics of a Good Man

As you consider what makes a Good Man good, you will first be concerned with the very basics. These are the most important and fundamental areas of a man’s character that must be right in order for you to have a wonderful, happy love relationship and marriage with him. The smart, assertive, sexy American Geisha does not compromise at all in these four areas; your Good Man must show you that he possesses these traits.

A Good Man’s Four Core Characteristics:

1. He has good values.

2. He is aware, conscious, and responsible.

3. He is nice, and he is supportive of you.

4. He is positive, optimistic, and happy.

A Good Man Has Good Values

What this means, in essence, is that he is honest, that he tells the truth to you and to others, in both his personal and business lives. Because he tells the truth you can trust him and relax in the security of the relationship. You do not always have to be on edge, wondering what the truth of any situation actually is. When people live in accordance with their values, they have integrity.

A man can have good values no matter which religion he practices (or even if he practices no religion). Liberals and conservatives, Democrats and Republicans, rich and poor can all have good values. When a man tells the truth you can respect him. The American Geisha would find it difficult to respect a man who lied to her, and respect for your husband is critically important in a good, happy, sexy marriage. Both Scott and Neil were less than fully honest with me, and I realize now that I didn’t always respect them.

He Is Aware, Conscious, and Responsible

Your Good Man is conscious of what is going on around him, of his relationship with you, of his dealings at work, and, generally, of the passing of the years and events in his life. When he is aware and conscious you feel heard by him, appreciated by him for what you do and who you are, connected to him because you are both actively involved in your relationship. For your Good Man to be responsible simply means that he doesn’t blame others for much that happens in his life, but instead takes it upon himself to do the best he can to succeed in life and in his relationship with you. He’s dependable. Here, again, I now see that both Scott and Neil, rather than taking responsibility for doing what needed to be done, chose to deny that they had serious untreated problems (erectile dysfunction and depression, respectively).

Your Good Man Is Nice, and He’s Supportive of You

Niceness or kindness is so important in the definition of a Good Man. Couldn’t you, dear Younger Sister, put up with a whole bunch of imperfections in a man if he were consistently the nicest person in the world in the way he treated you? “Nice” is an underappreciated adjective when it comes to personality traits. Notice whether he treats other people kindly, too. A man who is supportive of you has your best interests at heart and wants you to be successful in whatever you attempt. He believes in you, cares for you, and wants you to be happy. He builds you up and never tears you down. He’s a friend and a teammate as well as a lover and a husband. I see so clearly now that Scott and Neil just weren’t very nice to me.

He Is Positive, Optimistic, and Happy

This final core trait has to do with a Good Man’s way of looking at the present and the future, as well as how he interprets the events of his past. Many psychologists believe that this attitude has a strong genetic or inherited element that is difficult to change. Most basically, you want to be a happy woman who’s sharing her life and marriage with another happy person, not a happy woman trying to make her unhappy husband happy. Getting someone else to change is always difficult, even harder if much of his negativity is based in his DNA.

From my experience with Neil, I can testify to the intractability of depression and negativity, no matter what another person does to help the sufferer overcome it. Instead of your changing him for the better, his negative life view will probably drag you down—at least, that’s what happened to me. Over the years with Neil, I became more negative, more pessimistic, more depressed, and unhappy. I blamed myself that I couldn’t help him no matter what I did. As a kind, caring person, dear Younger Sister, encourage such a man to find help—as difficult as any change may be—but do not try to be a helpmate to him and do not put your own happiness at risk by staying with him.

Instead, find a Good Man who has done whatever psychological work he needed to do. Find a Good Man who is already positive, optimistic, and happy. The Asian Geisha accepts all of the men she deals with exactly as they are, without demanding, expecting, or even hoping that they will change. She knows that they will not. Learn this lesson, my dear American Geisha: Men will not often change. Do not try to change a Bad Man or a Wrong Man, for only your great unhappiness is likely to result. I felt lonelier when I was with a Wrong Man than I did when I was actually alone. Don’t make my mistake. Instead, find a Good Man who already has the core qualities that you require for your and his great happiness together.

“Sex Secrets of an American Geisha” is written by Py Kim Conant. She has published three books in Korean and has written a biweekly column for the Korean Daily in Southern California. She is the founder of a club for Korean women married to American men. She lives in Los Angeles.
http://www.americangeishahouse.com/ (http://www.americangeishahouse.com/)


Source Material: http://asiancemagazine.com/nov_2006/sex_secrets_of_an_american_geisha

[OldiesLover]

Owww.... I am beyond Good Man. After reading this, I realize that I am... Excellent Man! :p

[majormilo]

A Good Man’s Four Core Characteristics:

1. He has good values.

2. He is aware, conscious, and responsible.

3. He is nice, and he is supportive of you.

4. He is positive, optimistic, and happy.

A Good Man Has Good Values


Well from reading this about a good mans four core characteristics
I have to say i am right up there in the top 10% -

Having good values -
I am very aware, conscious and responsible for my own actions -
I am very nice to my counterpart and very supportive of her
and
I am normally positive, optimistic and happy....

this must be a really feel good book -

I will have to read it also -

thanks

majormilo

[HongKongDr]

Only for Men--

The Top 15 American Geisha Secrets on

How to Please Your Woman

What can a guy do when his woman just doesn't want as much sex as the guy does?
Talk about her emotional involvement in the relationship. Is she in love with your or not? Happy? Satisfied?
Let her know how important sex and emotional involvement both are to you
Emphasize how emotionally close to her when sex makes feel good
Emphasize making the relationship better and more committed, especially in the long-term
Tell her honestly how it hurts your male ego and sense of yourself as a man when she says, "NO"
Discuss whether it is the relationship or her own basic level of sexual interest that keeps your lovemaking so infrequent
Discuss your level of commitment and her level of sexual interest
Propose a trade of more frequent sex per week and you giving her something she wants in exchange
Talk about whether she comes easily or at all, and what turns her on
Ask how you can make her (the woman) happier in and out of bed
Ask for a guided tour of her clitoris and how she likes to be stimulated
Discuss whether she needs more foreplay, and what kind
Don't compete with her vibrator? Be a good friend with you
Buy a vibrator for her. Encourage her to use it, especially while you make love
Give her the book, "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha (http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Secrets-American-Geisha-Positively/dp/0897934903/sr=11-1/qid=1163141238/ref=sr_11_1/102-4732796-2776965): How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man," so she understands how important sex is to a man, and how powerful she is in the relationship when she has enthusiastic sex with her Good Man. Source Material: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=96600573&blogID=202083935&MyToken=585c1eae-8477-4d59-a6ef-6ddda43e3d3d

Posted: Wed, Dec 06, 2006

[HongKongDr]

The Top 15 Sexy Secrets for a sensual and exciting sex life:
know how your body responds and what pleases it
tell him what you like sexually (in bed an out)
masturbate, alone and with him (let him watch you masturbate)
learn about the G-spot and female ejaculation
touch and kiss often, daily
make lovemaking a high priority
be noisy and sexually enthusiastic
thank him for your orgasms
let him hear your appreciation
compliment his manhood
always be nice and supportive
inspire him with your beauty, femininity and sexiness
have him take you out to show off your beauty, femininity and sexiness to the world
perhaps let go of your sexual "taboos"
best: be mutually in loveSource Material: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=96600573&blogID=200680404&MyToken=585c1eae-8477-4d59-a6ef-6ddda43e3d3d
Posted: 02 Dec 2006

[OldiesLover]

HongKongDr, This is some very interestin' stuff.

Kinda puts a damper on all this Battle Of The Sexes chatter.

Tell us some more about the author. Has she written any other books? How about her other articles and writings?

For anyone else who finds this interesting, be sure check out our own Queen Of The Mature Wing, Sachiko McLean. She has some very good thoughts somewhat in this same area.

Of course, she is now a Scanlover's Goddess, http://forum.scanlover.com/showthread.php?p=226083#post226083

[HongKongDr]

Py Kim Conant; Korean born, Conant studied Eastern philosophy before
coming to Los Angeles to continue her studies. Her writing explores relationships
through the lens of her own personal story and the stories of others she
interviewed along the journey. She received her B.A. in psychology from UCLA
and went on to receive her M.A. in education from California State University.
She has also been published as a contributing writer for the Los Angeles Times
and as a featured columnist for Korea Daily. Conant lives in Los Angeles with her
husband, Richard. Py Kim Conant finds that she exists in three distinct cultures
living in the US: her original Korean culture, the American culture into which she moved,
and the stereotyped “Asian” culture that people apply to her when she meets them.


Her feminine, hot, sexy secrets that she shares in this book come out that three-part cultural background, and out of her own experiences to attract and marry the right man for her. Py has published three books in Korean and has written a bi-weekly column for the Korea Daily in Southern California. She also founded a club for Korean women married to American men. She teaches and lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Richard.

Q: What inspired you to write this book?
A: I was first inspired to write this book almost five years ago, when several of my single girlfriends asked me for tips about how they, too, could find and marry a Good Man. I thought that if I could help them, perhaps I could help even more women by writing a book. I had already published three books in Korean, so it didn’t seem too outrageous that I might able to publish one in English. So, I started writing and began to do some research, including starting a Korean Wives Club for Korean women married to American men. Part of my research was to read about the Japanese geisha and her Korean counterpart, the kisaeng. Over time I came to realize that much of what I was writing about could be related to what I came to call the Asian Geisha. The popularity of the Memoirs of a Geisha book and the impending movie further convinced me that I could reach lots of women with my helpful tips about sex and getting married if I positioned myself as the first American Geisha Older Sister, offering my suggestions to my readers (my Younger Sisters) so that they, too, could become American Geisha in pursuit of love and marriage in their lives.

Q: How did you acquire your sexual knowledge?
A: My reading taught me some new things about sex, then with my Good Man husband (who is 20 years older) I was able to express my sexuality more fully, and he gave me advice and tips on how I could be more beautiful, feminine, and sexy. As well, my internet and other research, the self-help books when I was trying so hard to get married, and the geisha and Japanese sex worker books, led me to authors who brought me even more knowledge, including the fact of the female ejaculation, which I had heard of but didn’t really believe. So, my credibility comes from my own experiences, the books that I read, the internet and other research that I did with about four hundred men and women, and my husband’s tips over the last 7 years.

Q: Prior to writing your book, did you have experience covering sex/advice?
A: My previous experience in sex-advice writing was in Korean. However, when I submitted the book for publication in Korea, the major publishers indicated it was a "troubling" book, with one publisher saying that only "ten years later it would be possible to publish such a sex book."

Q: What’s the reason that you focus on sex?
A: When I was young I was always heavy and thought that that was something I couldn’t do anything about, it was just my body type (See the “Before” pictures). And when I grew up all I had was these long-distance relationships where the men were hardly ever there, while I always felt sexual but didn’t have a man around. And none of them---not one--- told me I was pretty. Then Rich came along and told me I was sexy and pretty and encouraged me that I could lose weight. And I lost 40 pounds and got prettier, thinner, and happier (See the “After” picture). I’m 4’9” and 90 pounds now and having a great, happy sex life which I believe---from my personal experience---is an important part of anyone’s full and happy life.

Q: Was there any one event that inspired you to change your life?

A: At 35 I had a bad break-up with a man after five years, five years during which he never said I was pretty or that he loved me. After the break-up, I finally decided that I had to do something about my situation. I set a goal and wrote an action plan to get married by 40. I read more than 50 books about sex, dating and relationships, including John Gray’s “Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus,” “The Rules,” and “The Joy of Sex.” Then, I created my own dating rules and I used them with my next boyfriend, who later became my husband.

Q: What do you think about the whole process of finding and marrying a man?
A: The whole process of, first, finding and marrying a man, and then keeping your marriage alive and happy should be a fun experience. I believe your Good Man is a man who is optimistic and happy about his life, and I believe the woman should also look at life optimistically and happily. So, if you are not really optimistic and happy about your life now, work on improving that situation before pursuing love and marriage. Neither spouse should be either pessimistic or unhappy; in fact, people with such downer characteristics shouldn’t be dates or friends. Seek more optimistic, happy people to get close to in your life.

Q: Do you have tips for anybody hoping to break into that market?
A: My tips for sex-advice writing:
• Choose an unusual angle.
• Be willing to be outrageous when you write about sex.
• Be willing to personalize it, not just staying an objective observer. Both write it and do it.
• Seek to have a great relationship and sex life yourself.
• Remember, sex is meant to be fun.
*************************************
Picture one - Before (from comments above)
Picture two - after - (from comments above)
***************************************

Source Material: http://americangeishahouse.com/Aboutauthor.htm

[HongKongDr]

HongKongDr,
Has she written any other books?

OTHER BOOKS by Py Kim Conant - (these are Korean written books)
****************************************************
Madame Butterfly Without Wings
A love epic memoir, published by Seon Soo Literature Publisher, Seoul, Korea, October 2004. ISBN: 89-87583-27-9

I used the theme of the opera “Madame Butterfly” for my of my first love with a British man. I had met him in Italy in 1986 and we traveled together in Greece for two weeks. My relationship with him continued long-distance from Los Angeles to Scotland, for three years. Finally, when he was supposed to visit me to Los Angeles, he simply didn’t show up at the arrival gate. Later he wrote me that he had found another woman closer to home. I couldn’t forget about him or forgive him for long years, and I had to write the story to bring closure to the relationship.

I described myself like Cho Cho San (the female main character in “Madame Butterfly”), who is Japanese and married to an American military man. But her husband goes back to the US and she waits for him three years. But when he comes back to Japan, he comes with his American wife and he wants to take their baby from Cho Cho San. She is hurt and kills herself at the end of the story. I thought my love story was emotionally similar to Cho Cho San’s.

Celebrate the Twentieth Year
A narrative non-fiction essay, published by Seoul Literature Publisher, Seoul, Korea, October 2004. ISBN: 89-5898-005-2

It is a memoir of the years 1982 to 1983, when I was 20 years old, and covers the year before I came to the US and the six months after I immigrated to the US with my family. During this time I was depressed. I was poor. I felt inferior because of my height (4 feet 9 inches tall) and unattractive appearance (weighing 132 pounds). I was lonely; no one seemed to care about me. I was always looking for someone. I fell in love with anyone, very quickly. I loved men too much. Loving someone could save my miserable life, I thought. When I arrived in the US, I suffered from nostalgia and memories of Korea. My dream was always to go back to Korea.

However, as I think back to those years, I have to praise myself for how much I was willing to get hurt and take a risk to love someone. I realize now that I was brave to express my true feelings about the men I loved.

Looking into the Empty Field
A poetry book, published by Seon Soo Literature Publisher, May 2004, Seoul Korea. ISBN: 89-87583-16-3

I wrote all of the poems in my 20s (1981 to 1990 in Korea, Los Angeles, and Europe). My writing career started as a poet, and in Korea I have been known as a poet. I had completed the manuscript in 1997 and published it in 2004. My themes are love, heart-break, loneliness, searching for meaning in life, and traveling in Europe.

****************************************
Pictures:
1. Book 1 - Madame Butterfly Without Wings
2. Book 2 - Celebrate the Twentieth Year
3. Book 3 - Looking into the Empty Field
*****************************************
Source Material:

http://www.asianwomenssecrets.com/html/aws_books.html

[OldiesLover]

A Korean Wive's Club for Korean Women married to American Men? :eek:

Ok... Tell me there's a Korean Girlfriend's Club for Korean Women who worship their American Boyfriends... Then I'll think I've died and gone to heaven! ;)

This Korean Lady strikes me as someone very very special and unique. :grovel: :grovel: :grovel:

[insert_namehere]

Ah, the endless cycle of advice books - honestly… who BUYS these things? There seems to be an endless market for books that TELL you shit you already know, or tell you crap that is completely inapplicable but validates the illusion that your sucky relationship isn't really your fault, but your partners. From the blurbs posted in this thread, I'd say Ms. Conant is going for the "cram both approaches into one cover, even if the advice in one section contradicts the advice in another" approach. As usual with these things, one of the basic differences in Male/Female worldview is completely overlooked. I'll get to that after pointing out some of the best howlers I've run across in the "wisdom" posted in this thread.

Start by finding the right type of guy and stop wasting your time on guys who aren't going to change or more importantly who aren't even worth you waiting for them to do so.

Right off the bat, I have to say this is the WORST advice ever!

Reality check - Dating a guy because you see "potential" is the dumbest, most self-deluded concept ever pandered about the planet. You either like the guy AS HE IS - or move on. Nobody changes because someone else wants them to - people change because THEY want to - serious change is a major commitment to oneself. The only motivating factor that insures any large-scale shift in behavior, attitude or outlook HAS to come from the individual understanding that there are long-term benefits for the individual - not because it would please someone else.

1. He has good values.

I think it makes more sense to say "complimentary values". "Good values" is right up there with "Family values" as far a nebulous terminology goes.

2. He is aware, conscious, and responsible.

Yes, being conscious while in a relationship is a pretty good idea. I like to sleep a lot, but my dating skills drop to the bottom of the barrel when I'm unconscious.

Propose a trade of more frequent sex per week and you giving her something she wants in exchange

So, what's the going rate these days? $20 for a blowjob?

be noisy and sexually enthusiastic

Agreed. Lots of barking and pig noises!

Want an easy thing to remember - and more often than not has an actual VALUE when dealing with relationships? Here goes:

Woman (more often than not) assume that men can be "changed", whereas men (more often than not) believe that the woman they started out with 3 years ago hasn't changed at all. Both assumptions will lead to disappointment.

[mike2323]

I believe that the books was targeting the female readers... naturally for us guys we would see this in a more different perspective... not everyone has the ability to grasp the concepts of relationships... this isn't a book I would read but if a female girlfriend of mine was interested I wouldn't stop her from reading it. each individual has her own interpretation and that is what makes her wise, knowing what to absorb and what not to take in from what ever book it might be... :)

[insert_namehere]

I believe that the books was targeting the female readers...

Indeed - the implicit logic of women explaining men to other women is right up there with krill explaining blue whales to other krill.

[OldiesLover]

Celebrate the Twentieth Year
A narrative non-fiction essay, published by Seoul Literature Publisher, Seoul, Korea, October 2004. ISBN: 89-5898-005-2

It is a memoir of the years 1982 to 1983, when I was 20 years old, and covers the year before I came to the US and the six months after I immigrated to the US with my family. During this time I was depressed. I was poor. I felt inferior because of my height (4 feet 9 inches tall) and unattractive appearance (weighing 132 pounds). I was lonely; no one seemed to care about me. I was always looking for someone. I fell in love with anyone, very quickly. I loved men too much. Loving someone could save my miserable life, I thought. When I arrived in the US, I suffered from nostalgia and memories of Korea. My dream was always to go back to Korea.


Source Material:

http://www.asianwomenssecrets.com/html/aws_books.html

HongKongDr, This book also looks very interesting. My lil Korean Dragon Lady came to U.S. in 1968 and 6 months later, her brother died while mountain climbing in Korea.

She also went through a lot of depression during her first few years here, and she has often told me about it. To make matters worse, her brother died with a number of other medical students and the incident made international news. To this day, she has her brother's clothing that he died in (because he was buried in a robe per Korean custom) in a box stored away until her Mother dies. She is in a Korean rest home in NJ and is a very spunky 93 years old.

Since you have made contact with the author, has she been able to come in and review your Thread yet?

I sure hope you can talk her into coming in. Most of us in here are harmless. :eek:

[basnobasno]

ok, first, it's a self help book. all self help books are suspect because they usually try to quantify and equate some sort of unquantifiable and unequatable sociological phenomena into something easy to remember and apply. anything sociological is hard to explain because it involves people and while people are mostly predicable sometimes they arent. sometimes they zig when they are suppose to zag and vice versa. there's a reason newton derived laws for physics and not for relationships. partly because he was a social loser and died a virgin but mostly because human interaction relies on many variables; far more than calculus can incorporate.

lastly, even once learned this shit is hard to apply. mostly because of the people trying to apply it. appling this stuff relies on a lot of social cues that these people dont pick up on in the first place. that's why they are reading a self help book. i mean we all know the fundamentals of seeing the ball and being the ball but it's it's still fucking hard to hit a fast ball let alone a curve.

second the advice that they offer is usually a mixed bag. a lot of it usually doesnt apply to all people while some of it usually applies to all people and sometimes it's all total bunk, like with this chick advocating a wife, gf, whatever to trade sex for something else. that, i think, is fucked up. if your gf or wifee doesnt like giving bjs, i say, either get over it or get a new lady and if she tries the ole flea market sex barter trick, then she's got the dynamics of relationships down wrong. she's got other shit to work on. and you might as well get steppin. trading sex, i think, comes out of a position of some kind of insecurity or disfunction because ultimately, the chick, doesnt know how to comprimise, persuade or cope within the bounds of a healthy relationship. nonprocreative recreational sex is a way to show affection, to bond, etc which is an outgrowth of a healthy relationship not a way to get momma new kitchen aid mixer or a new pair of shoes.

as far as good values, i think if we all put our thinking caps on for a second we can all agree on what good values are. among my varied media research travels i have stumbled upon a little thing that leathernecks use to identify good values and traits. it's known as the 14 leadership traits but it's pretty safe to assume that they are the values of a good man. among the 14 that are partically pertinent to this discussion is having good judgement, being just, being dependable, having tact, having integrity, being unselfish, having knowledge, being loyal and being enthuiastic.

being aware and conscious, i dont think means literally breathing and alive but just the ability to notice shit. when your lady's had a bad day. when she drops hints about the way she feels, what she wants and probably more importantly when she drops hints about what she wants from you.

and when she advocates noisy and enthuiastic sex, all she is saying and hinting at is that sex is more than just a tactile encounter. it involves all the senses. and one of those sense is auditory. why do you think all of those JAVs yelp and whine, moan and groan? because all of that equates to pleasure and joy. which brings me to enthuiastic sex. while sex technically involves two people it can occur with just one person. what's that old adage that english victorian mothers told their daughters about their wedding night deflowering; just lie there and think of england? fuck that, i say fake it if you have to bitch! i like a chick that participates. first it cuts down on all of the work i have to do and second, if it's all real or real enough to fool me, it motivates me to see her being pleased. and hell, maybe i will buy her that new kitchen aid mixer because we fucked so good and i've been aware and conscious of all of the hints she been dropping around me for the last few weeks because i was showing my good values by being dependable at my job and by spending time with her.

but ultimately, this author-chick, just wants to sell a book. i doubt that her back story about her girlfriends is true. and even if it is, it's not hard to write a self help book. just go to borders and look in the self help sextion. any college psych student that attends at least half of their classes can write one. shit, anyone that isnt a total pod or autistic can do it. it's so easy even a caveman can do it. but i think she's totally suspect for another reason (which i think further emphasizes her desire to sell her book) because she's korean and insists on selling out and using geisha in her title because it is more marketable and recognizable instead of using the korean word kisaeng or even mae choon boo, ha!

sad thing is in the states geisha is pretty much synomynous with prostitute or submissive or pretty much the total opposite of anything that women here are taught or conditioned to be. i doubt this chick is getting rich anyway.

most of this advice isnt totally useless but i wouldnt give this book to my daughter. mostly because she will probably be half asian anyway and doesnt need to have the whole geisha thing or sexual/submissive connotation about asian women further thrown in her face. i know i potentially sound like a hypocrite because i am indulging that connotation by enjoying and contributing to this site as i do but as long as i sound like a realistic self aware hypocrite i dont mind or care so much. but i think the motif of the whole geisha thing is kind of irresponsible, especially since the author herself is asian, seems like it is only serving the misconceptions of what a geisha is. seems like she should have used buddhism to sell her book or some eastern thing that has a more mystical or less submissive feel to it. and at the very least, the geisha thing, is just kind of lame, tired, played, retro, dusty, old, anachronistic, primitive. i guess it also is the whole idea of writing a self help book on getting a man too. i mean, if this author chick really wanted to help her friends, she needed to write a book to help them? she has so many that she couldnt help them one on one? seems just a little to self serving . . . and i should know, since im soooo self aware . . . . ha!

anyway, if you want to read a book by a korean lady read; still life with rice (http://www.amazon.com/Still-Life-Rice-Helie-Lee/dp/0684827115/sr=1-1/qid=1165772493/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-9204821-5019247?ie=UTF8&s=books)by helie lee. the book chronicles the life of the author's grandmother who was born in 1912 and survived a whole much of shit. most notably the korean war, which takes her husband and traps her son, the author's uncle, behind the 38th parellel, in mind and body. like most of these types of stories, really puts life into perspective. by the end of the book the author actually manages to make contact with her uncle and continues the story and the reunification of her grandmother and uncle and his family in a second book. i havent read that book but im sure it cant be half bad. it's probably pretty movtivating, cinematic even.

hard to belive that a place like north korea exists. but that is a topic for a different thread . . . .

[OldiesLover]

Py Kim Conant is now a Registered Member of Scanlover and my Special Guest... http://forum.scanlover.com/member.php?u=83099

As my Special Guest, I expect less of the disrepectful comments and a more MATURE Approach, if she does decide to do some Posting. I have already committed to her that I will protect her from ill-conceived comments. Criticism is one thing, personal attacks are another. :(

This is all part of being in The MATURE WING. :mad:

[bunks]

..sounds like you have a finacial interest is this self-help rubbish oldie...looks like you spamming this board indirectly.......?

[OldiesLover]

..sounds like you have a finacial interest is this self-help rubbish oldie...looks like you spamming this board indirectly.......?

Sorry, no financial interests whatsoever. I'm simply trying to get an Author to visit the Forum. Kinda add a new perspective to the place.

Unfortunately, this Author has talked to us a couple times, but she hasn't Posted any comments. Maybe it's because of the stupid comments I have to keep deleting from this Thread. :mad:


P.S. But that's a good idea though. I'm sure I could become a millionaire from all the money you guys spend on self help books. :rolleyes:

[majormilo]

I found this book to be interesting......It had some insights that I had not thought of before....was it a chicks book? I think part of it was, but then again it was about how a woman can keep a man.....but on a mans part it was interesting to see how another woman who has done some extensive research (and no i do not know exactly how much research she did), but I am hoping that since the author has joined will write some things about her book for us on that aspect. Would I buy it for the woman i am involved with, Yes.....

I just think it is neat that an author would want to join the forum and come talk to us about her book. Is it a hype or a financial thing for OldiesLover? No i do not think so, I think it is just something that some of the people in the mature section would like to know more about.

Thanks

majormilo

[VRaptorX]

Wish there was some sort of general poll thing though. Like, japanese females: do you like males to shave our entire body like the anime guys? that's really all i want to know. I would likly actually do all the talking, and advice naturally anyways. I'm pretty emotional.


:dribble:

Just had to put in the soccer kitty. Kitties are adorable and soccr is the greatest sport ever.

[oldies8ladies]

Wish there was some sort of general poll thing though. Like, japanese females: do you like males to shave our entire body like the anime guys? that's really all i want to know. I would likly actually do all the talking, and advice naturally anyways. I'm pretty emotional.

Mr. VRaptorX;

with all due respect...................

what does this have to do with "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha"???
you want to create a poll - then you may go and create a poll.

This thread is about a very good book and concept on how to deal with men and women.

Has nothing to do with Japanese females liking males to shave.

Thank you;

[trrmaster]

Sorry, no financial interests whatsoever. I'm simply trying to get an Author to visit the Forum. Kinda add a new perspective to the place.

Unfortunately, this Author has talked to us a couple times, but she hasn't Posted any comments. Maybe it's because of the stupid comments I have to keep deleting from this Thread. :mad:


P.S. But that's a good idea though. I'm sure I could become a millionaire from all the money you guys spend on self help books. :rolleyes:



Share with us the truth, If not financial, then there can only be one thing left......we're all guys here and we cool, we got your back. Plus we are potential customers of this book and other titles written by this author. She stands to make much financial gains. For her to get special status and protection from us, it's got to be more than just attracting a "new perspective to the place"......

[oldies8ladies]

Share with us the truth, If not financial, then there can only be one thing left......we're all guys here and we cool, we got your back. Plus we are potential customers of this book and other titles written by this author. She stands to make much financial gains. For her to get special status and protection from us, it's got to be more than just attracting a "new perspective to the place"......

Dear Mr. Trrmaster;

I not think you see what it is we are doing here in "mature talk" thread.

we are looking at a different level of talking and bringing people in to give us various insights to aspects of life.

it is important to look at various aspects of life since it is not only one facet of life that most of us live --- and -- then again - maybe some people only live one facet of life and can not accept that there are other facets at the same time -

This lady who write book - we have talked with her and so has "HongKongDr" - she is nice nice lady - but many people wrote "nasty" comments about her book without reading her book - so maybe because of "small children who play in sandbox" nice nice lady not come back -

it is loss of ScanLover since it was nice to have someone with a different facet to life to talk with and talk about these facets which someone might want to know -

We have read the book and find it very insightful and wonderful and much good to read - We feel that if more men would read book like this - then maybe not have so many issues with woman at home - but that is our " FEELING " about book - we have right to our " FEELING" and " DESIRE " -

so please understand and accept - that not all things are what is on the face value - some things have much other facets to them and you must be willing and able to be open enough to look at a coin from many angles and know that it is worth more than the value of the coin or so it will be what it will be if not what it is.

Thank you

[trrmaster]

oldies3ladies says.....

I not think you see what it is we are doing here in "mature talk" thread.

Is it my style of humor that you find not fitting in "Mature Talk"? Keep in mind that Scanlover is first and foremost a porn site with majority of members and viewers being male. Occasionally some unpolitically correct male humor make it's way in depending on what inspire it.


Dear Mr. Trrmaster;


we are looking at a different level of talking and bringing people in to give us various insights to aspects of life.

I totally agree. However it doesn't justify why author of "Sex secrets of an American Geisha" should get special treament and protection from other members. We are potential customers, I myself have bought many photobooks and DVDs featured on Scanlover.

it is important to look at various aspects of life since it is not only one facet of life that most of us live --- and -- then again - maybe some people only live one facet of life and can not accept that there are other facets at the same time -

Is that your assumption of me?

This lady who write book - we have talked with her and so has "HongKongDr" - she is nice nice lady - but many people wrote "nasty" comments about her book without reading her book - so maybe because of "small children who play in sandbox" nice nice lady not come back -

"Nice" lady brought this unto herself when she made the decision to write a book. Criticism(good or bad) is natural and anyone who expresses themselves in whatever medium should be expecting it. It's the nature of the game.

But she took it one step further by purposely giving it a controversial title. In her case, it wasn't very well thought out otherwise she would've gotten more positive comments. Capitalizing on an asian stereotype to make a quick buck is going to have unwanted feedback. I don't think people go out of their ways to put others down unnecessarily, things DO happen for a reason. Blaming kids who play in sandbox is quite immature IMO.

it is loss of ScanLover since it was nice to have someone with a different facet to life to talk with and talk about these facets which someone might want to know -

As I've said above, Majority of people come here for porn, Mature Talk isn't exactly lighting up the chart. But all is not lost as I get the feeling you may still have communication with author. Since author chose not to be here cuz she doesn't think very highly of us. Perhaps you can highlight certain passages from the book that you think is good and we can all discuss it?

We have read the book and find it very insightful and wonderful and much good to read - We feel that if more men would read book like this - then maybe not have so many issues with woman at home - but that is our " FEELING " about book - we have right to our " FEELING" and " DESIRE " -

I don't think anybody is denying you your right, If you like the book and find it helpful in your life, by all means, Buy it!! Obviously you fall into the market segment author was targeting. However, be prepare to accept the fact that others may not feel the book will resolve many men/women issues just because you feel it does.

so please understand and accept - that not all things are what is on the face value - some things have much other facets to them and you must be willing and able to be open enough to look at a coin from many angles and know that it is worth more than the value of the coin or so it will be what it will be if not what it is.

Why should I or anyone else have to understand and accept? It is not practical or economical for everyone to read thru a whole book before coming to an opinion. That is why bookstores categorize books and authors title them accordingly so it's easier for buyers to make their selection. Perhaps the author should consider taking a lost in sales by retitling the book?

[oldies8ladies]

Is it my style of humor that you find not fitting in "Mature Talk"? Keep in mind that Scanlover is first and foremost a porn site with majority of members and viewers being male. Occasionally some unpolitically correct male humor make it's way in depending on what inspire it.

Oldies3ladies say: That is fine that majority are males - maybe time for some people to learn more about life - learn more about reality - learn more about what is what - It is not your style of humor - what you think is style of humor - this is more about how it is - Porn will always be porn - but Mr. OldiesLover said we have "mature talk" here not porn -

Maybe you only see Scanlover as porn site - it is more than porn site - it is forum - you have to understand what forum is then.

*******************************************************

Is that your assumption of me?


Oldies3ladies say: We not make assumption about you - how can we assume anything about you - You is YOU - You are what you are and what you are going to be - we NOT assume anything about YOU - it is not worth time to assume things about person - it is only what person is.
*******************************************************


"Nice" lady brought this unto herself when she made the decision to write a book. Criticism(good or bad) is natural and anyone who expresses themselves in whatever medium should be expecting it. It's the nature of the game.


Oldies3ladies say: What is nature of the game - what game you play - we not play game - it is not game to us - so why you say - nature of the game - and how can you should be - who should be doing what -
*******************************************************
But she took it one step further by purposely giving it a controversial title. In her case, it wasn't very well thought out otherwise she would've gotten more positive comments. Capitalizing on an asian stereotype to make a quick buck is going to have unwanted feedback. I don't think people go out of their ways to put others down unnecessarily, things DO happen for a reason. Blaming kids who play in sandbox is quite immature IMO.
[/quote]

Oldies3ladies say: That is your point of reference - Kids who play in sandbox are only kids who play in sandbox - so why you write and put people down - we are only saying that in point of reference of kids who play in sandbox - you not know what this means maybe - *******************************************************


As I've said above, Majority of people come here for porn, Mature Talk isn't exactly lighting up the chart. But all is not lost as I get the feeling you may still have communication with author. Since author chose not to be here cuz she doesn't think very highly of us. Perhaps you can highlight certain passages from the book that you think is good and we can all discuss it?


Oldies3ladies say: This is your point also - about Mature talk - but you talk with "Mr OldiesLover" - Mr. OldiesLover was one who say we can have " mature talk" section - you not like what is here - then YOU no have to read it or post here - It is not about lighting up the chart - it is more about learning and sharing -
*******************************************************

[ltdragonmd]

:cry: HI!!

I herd her on my local Radio station! On the Frosty Heidie and Frank Show on 97.1FM. i thought she was awsome!! And she looks awsome too! =)
:cry:

[HongKongDr]

I have opinion, belief, advice, or information about the book, "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man" which is "counter-intuitive" for most people. There are common myths people believe that I want to debunk:

• Myth 1: Being very feminine is weak and submissive.
Truth: It empowers a woman.

• Myth 2: It's what's inside that counts.
Truth: Because men are visual, you need to be
beautiful, feminine, and sexy to attract men.

• Myth 3: Feminists can't attract, satisfy, and keep a man.
Truth: You can be both a feminist and a feminine-ist,
a woman who values, loves, and wants to operate
out of her femininity.

• Myth 4: The G-spot for female ejaculation is no big deal.
Truth: Learn to female ejaculate and become a "shooter";
expand your sexual satisfaction/options.

• Myth 5: Dieting is about food.
Truth: A plan (not a diet) is about two things: awareness of
your weight and exercise, not food.

• Myth 6: Men and women are pretty much the same.
Truth: Men and women are very different psychologically.

• Myth 7: I should wait until he asked me to marry him.
Truth: Sooner-rather-than-later, you need to set deadlines.

• Myth 8: Eventually, I’ll get married.
Truth: To marry a Good Man you need to make love and
marriage your high priority, and a plan.

• Myth 9: Men are generally very confident sexually.
Truth: Men are extremely vulnerable and fragile regarding
their sex lives.

• Myth 10: Men aren't comfortable with vibrators.
Truth: He can love your vibrator, since you'll never
give credit for your orgasm to the vibrator.

• Myth 11: I have to say "no" to my husband to sex sometimes.
Truth: Never say "no" to sex to your husband.
You need to arrange a date in the near future.

• Myth 12: You want to get married.
Truth: You want to have a great marriage, not a
great wedding.


Py Kim Conant, the author of Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House Publishers.



Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com (http://www.americangeishahouse.com/)
*************************************************
(http://www.americangeishahouse.com/)

Source Material: http://amazines.com/Dating/article_detail.cfm/167722?articleid=167722
(http://www.americangeishahouse.com/)

[HongKongDr]

You May Have 3 Big Problems in Your Life: Happiness, Money and Health. You want to be happy, healthy and wealthy. Since relationship issues impact all areas of life, to be a happy, healthy, and wealthy person comes down to how to be happy with yourself and with your relationship first; that is something you can work on right now. Then, you’ll become healthy and wealthy.


To be a happy woman, learn how you can find and keep both a Good Man and your full sexuality, whether you’re single or married….even when you’re overweight or plain, not attractive now…even when your situation seems hopeless and helpless…or even if your husband is losing interest in you.


Source: Author of the book -